Tuesday, April 29, 2014

I'm on my semester break, please ask me out


guess who i finally met up with after 14 tormenting weeks later?! 
despite her being late for half an hour and had me thinking that i was the one who's going to be late, it was a really great afternoon with Niva. 
i now know how it feels like to have an elder sister. i don't usually mix well with my younger sisters and i suppose it was my inferiority that set us apart. when people heard that my family has 3 girls they would go all: awww this is so sweet having so many girls at home, can share clothes and makeup! 

no.

firstly, none of us is interested in makeup, and secondly, i fucking hate sharing clothes with my siblings. and the three of us have such distinctive characters that if we are not sisters in real life, i don't think i'll be friends with any of them. seriously. of course there are times when we actually hang out but that's really rare. because all of us have different likings and such. and being the eldest sister, i have to have it together all the time. i have to be tough, hard-to-please, and be the one giving out orders. although three of us are all growing up and nobody really take my orders anymore but i just don't like to be all soft and easy-to-approach. 

yes, i am one hell of a sister.

but with Niva, she's like my elder sister. i feel like i can open up my insecurities to her and know that she wouldn't judge me for that. and i can be say stupid things and then she'll correct me but at the same time couldn't stop laughing. we admit we make stupid mistakes and then we will spend an hour bitching about it. we would talk about everything including families and marriage and stuffs like that. i remember reading somewhere that wrote about us having different kinds of friends in each different phase of our lives. to me, i've known Niva since i started college. we see each other everyday in class and it is just so sad that she decided not to continue her degree anymore. we have been working on group assignments all along and suddenly my regular partner is going away. it was hard to deal with at first, considering both of us had always spent every single hour in college together. and i thought the friendship would eventually fade off, considering both of us have moved on to a "different" phase now. surprisingly whenever we meet up we just chatter away like how we used to. 

yesterday, we spent 4 hours talking and talking and talking and talking. it feels so great and relieved that i don't have to have it all together when i'm with her. and if i tell her any good news, i know that she is genuinely happy for me despite she wasn't there to share the moment. same goes for me to her. 

i sound like i'm totally in love with Niva, don't you think? hahah. to me, she's more than a friend. she's my family (a very distant one lol). 

yeah, i'm totally bragging our friendship.

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