last night's dinner brought me back to life. since i'm not working, my life has drained away bit by bit, day by day. i spent most of my time staying at home alone as i'm not allowed to go out, and waking up to nothing in every morning and feeling nothing more than being lifeless. last night was like going back to high school (except that food and drinks are served and there are no teachers glaring at us for talking too loud). we spent the night laughing our heads off at lame jokes, gossiping, talking about the future -where to go and how to get there - and exchange news about our recent life.
words are not enough to explain what i wanted to say. i somehow feel completed, knowing that i'm not alone. it was not the feeling of completeness i so needed, but the feeling of not feeling so empty. being at home for almost all the time and not talking to any of my friends(interactions through the cyberworld doesn't count) has somehow depressed me a little. sometimes when i was alone, i wish i could run away and leave for just awhile. my mind has been lost and i'm sure if the situation continues, i would go crazy.
because deep down i know, i want my life back.
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